I'm Genie For Your Wish

Everyday, I have to tackle problems that greatly affects me. Either it's my hair, weight or pimples. It's damn tiring to have all these obstacles, refraining myself to enjoy my everyday life with ease. I'm sure certain people understand how I am feeling right now. I feel very envious when I come across people with perfect skin, nice body shape and silky flowing hair. How I wish I have such traits.

But I'm not someone who just waits for something magical to happen. Today, I went through a lot of hardships and pain.

At 11am, I went for my facial session at Bukit Gombak with my sister. During the extraction part, I scrunched my face every time the beautician work on my skin problems. While she pressed it hard, I sucked my cheek in and refrained myself from laughing or shouting. I remember the first time I went for facial, the beautician was shocked when I laughed out loud while she was massaging my face. I'm a ticklish person, you see. It was freaking painful when the extraction was in process. It's like when the dentist tried her hardest to remove something stuck between your teeth with something sharp.

In the late afternoon, I went to IMM together with my family. I'm very tired of going into the dressing room with a smile on my face, thinking about how good I would look in my new clothes, only to leave the dressing room with a frown when it doesn't fits me well. I'm very tired of going from one place to another just to find something that could fit me. I know I'm a choosy person but wearing clothes is all about whether it's comfortable or not. I feel envious when I see my sisters buying clothes without even trying and it fits thems perfectly. They don't have to worry if their sizes ar available or not cause they always are. I hate having a tummy bulging. I hate having flabby arms. I hate hearing my sister wishing she was fat like me.

"I want to be fat like you..." That definitely wasn't a compliment.

I wish people would just accept themselves for who they are. I hate people who don't and that's exactly the reason why I hate myself. Well, that is going to change. I have to get rid of this mindset if I earnestly want to lose weight. Like 'Love', if you want to love others, you have to love yourself first.

Damn it. I hate to write such emotional posts but that is how I felt today. But no worries, the next posts will be of happier issues. ;)

I wish my worries will come to an end soon.

It's finally over. O Levels are over. My mugging period is over. My secondary school days are over. It's all history. I'm more concern about the future. What will I do for the next 3 to 4 months? I need get myself a job. I have considered which jobs to apply for but my parents are a hindrance. Before anything else, I clearly gave them two choices, Retail or Office. Their answer: Just do what you want... And now, there's indirectly forcing me to work at the Office but I prefer to work in the Retail sector. I'm confused...

It pissed me off when I browse through the requirements of certain jobs. Almost half of them require the candidate to speak Mandarin. Since when is Mother Tongue our first language? And you need experience...? HELLO! I'm applying for a job to gain experience. DAMN IT. Nevertheless, I prefer Retail to Office. But since when have I ever been allowed to do what I want? Fat hope lah Nabilah.

Talking about fat, I have set a goal for myself. Before entering my tertiary education, I've decided to lose weight. One kilogram per week. In ten weeks, I will be able to lose TEN kilograms. That is if I can continue to work hard. I'm not doing this alone anyway. I have appointed Narimah as my personal coach. Hahaha. Self-claimed. I hope I can make it this time. I WILL DO MY BEST.

Something hilarious happened yesterday. I was sleeping soundly when I I felt something plopped on my bed. I opened my eyes to see a black figure sitting on my bed. I was seriously fast asleep so I mumbled through asking the figure to move over. It was around 5 in the morning. After a while, I realised that it was my mother. She kept bothering me, asking me if she should go to work or not. I kept saying "Don't know..." in hope that she would move away and let me continue sleeping. But she didn't. She sat at the edge of my bed for god knows how long and kept asking me the same question again and again. I was pretty agitated by then, so I took my bolster and hugged it, indirectly asking my mother to move over. BUT SHE DIDN'T!

My sister asked me early in the morning if I knew what happened last night. She told me that she thought she saw a ghost sitting on my bed. Coincidentally, we were talking about this ghost that sits on people's stomach and prevent them from moving. I was laughing as she demonstrated how she saw it(my mother) then quickly shut her eyes. As I was typing this, I just found out something random. I was walking past my parents, who were on my sister's laptop. They were watching "scariest shit I've ever seen" on Youtube. It's a scary ghost clip i think. LOL

Going karaok-ing with Narimah tomorrow. Our actual plan was swimming in the morning, threadmill at her house after that. Then, wash up. Meet up in the afternoon to go karaoke. But something cropped up so we decided to just go ahead with the karaoking. ;) Nevertheless, I'm gonna enjoy myself.

It's been long since I blogged. Well, I have some free time right now so why not blog? I've been busy with a lot of things right now: Revision for O LEVEL etc. Correction, revision for o level ALONE takes up a lot of time. =.=" And I somehow disagree on how my mother kept asking me to tag along with the family on weekends for an outing. She always said it was time for me to relieve my stress. "Right", more like adding to my stress limit since I don't have much time to study. I kept falling asleep at night when I wanted to study!

Finally, I've graduated from Evergreen Secondary School! I'm happy that I managed to go this far and I'll do my best-est ever for O Level. I'm sad because I won't be seeing my friends on a regular basis anymore. Everyone will be busy with their own stuff by then. I just hope that we can still keep in touch but honestly, I don't like to make empty promises. On Graduation Day, me and Jessica 'fought' to give Zuliana a so-called surprise present for her 16th birthday, but she never realised or cared. In the end, we gave up and enjoyed our bonding session at KFC. ;) To Zuliana, if you see this, I would like to say something to you. I'm sorry that we can't really fight to get you to cry and stuff. We're just too good people to make others cry.

Waited for Narimah just now before going to RP but it took too long so I walked up the stairs back. Then I heard like fast running footsteps behind me. I quickly turned and saw Aidil, waving frantically like a maniac. I was like, "AIDIL?!" Really unexpected to see him under my block. Hahaha. I'm going to miss this cute-horny-hilarious-funny guy. I remembered how I first met him 6 years ago when we were Primary 5. Hilarious lah~! He's one of the guy friends I get along very well with. To Aidil, if you see this, I would to say something to you. I hope you'll be happy with whatever happens in the future and do last long with Nisa! ;)

Let's just cut the crap and move on to pictures k? ;)

I like this picture because my shirt looks very baggy. ;)

Jessica with her 3rd(?) husband

Spice Girls as said by dear cute Mr Chua

The comedy duo, Aidil&Zuliana, who never failed to cheer me up in class. ;)

My two good/close friends...

A rose among the thorns...

YUM YUM...

The very last picture taken before my camera died, seriously.

Although our class is not as united, I will still remember this class because of the wonderful memories I spent with some of the 4ITGians. Thanks guys~!

VERY VERY HUNGRY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's wrong with people these days? Can't an individual have their own opinion or liking? It's their own problem. Why make a big fuss over a matter that isn't even your concern in the first place? Desperate for attention perhaps? It is saddening to see things written as private posts are receiving much criticism from people who are not even involved. I'm not siding any party or whatsoever. I'm just stating my views as an observer. Never did I thought an innocent looking person would be so full of vulgarities and hatred towards one. I guess it is true, the phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover".  

No names are mentioned here. This is my blog. I have every right to type whatever I want.

Special P/S: To Zuliana... I know this period of time is very difficult for you. Hold on. Your father needs you the most right now. Study hard for your O Levels and make your parents proud. Anything that upsets or worries you, feel free to approach me and Jessica. Although we are people of less words, we want you to know that we are by your side. We will always be there for you. And I mean it. Right Jessica?

I super hate this period of time. I'm having more and more breakouts. Stress from the examination I guess. Darn it.

Yeah... I don't like him anymore! I'm a happy person right now. ;)

Thanks for making me see your true colours. It's definitely not fascinating and charming as I thought. Well, people do make mistakes right? I'm glad I managed to spot my awful mistake of liking you and amend it before it's too late. I'm a happy happy girl in a happy happy world.

Points taken.

Just came back from night study. Studied with Narimah, Aidil, Bin Bin, Yong Hong, Mundzir and Jessica. I managed to finish my Math and Geog homeworks! But I just got to know that there'll be Geog Mock Test tml. Ass. Haven't study. Will be studying soon but I'm scared that I'll fall asleep. =.="

It's like rain occuring after a long period of drought. I feel so blessed~!!! Thanks to these wonderful videos. Check them out. ;) They made me spazz about it and neglect my studies for the weekend. LOL

I was browsing through my korean videos on YouTube when I saw an odd video featured. No, it's not porn. It's a music video of the song Graduation by Vitamin C. An old song. I still remember they played this song during our Primary 6 graduation. I was in tears but it was all under control. I remember asking my friends to keep in touch but I only managed to do so with some of them now. I really hope that I can stay in touch with my current friends. They are someone I can rely on.

Speaking of which, Zuliana, Jessica and me went to 888 KFC to have our lunch since there's no physics remedial. And another reason is that our school canteen has limited amount of food to feed the student population~! Darn. Nvm, at least we had a chance to catch up with one another and I guess it was one of our bonding session...? Had some open talks. One thing I like about our bonding session is that you'll never know what is going on in our lives until we get together and talk about it. Less than a month to O Levels, I'm treasuring every minute we spent together. I really am.

I'm semi-satisfied with myself as I am able to semi-forget about him. I don't expect myself to forget him just like that, like I previously said, I'll take baby steps. CRUSH-THE-CRUSH-CLUB. Lame shit. Hahaha.

Night study tomorrow~!!! I've decided that I'll only go for the Night Study every Monday, Thursday and Friday only. For now, good night!

PS: Thanks people. ;)

My cute neighbours, Batrisya and Danial. HAHAHA. They looked like they're in a cage.

I thought I should blog a bit before I go hiatus for another few days or so. Well, Saturday was the busiest hari raya day I ever had. It was an open house for the relatives at my mother's side. Started at 1.30pm and it was supposed to finish at 6.30pm but it got extended to 9.15pm because of unpunctuality. At the very last minute, my father's side called and made us wait for them until 8+, when they clearly say they'll reach before 7. My mother got angry because we had to go out after that and yet, this had to happen. But nevertheless, I got to meet my long-lost cousins. It's been years since I last saw them. You could say that we reunited just a few years back after some personal matter between my parents and theirs. Let bygones be bygones. But I still hate one of my cousin, so stucked up. Hahaha.

The funny thing is during every interval, while waiting for the next guest to arrive, my two neighbours in the picture above, went inside our house and roamed around. Took pictures. And when the guest arrived, they ran back home. And when the guest left again, they entered the house again. Hahaha. Hilarious.

After they went off, we actually ran downstairs and took a taxi to my aunt's house. We didn't even make-up or try to look our best. We were all like in a race. So downstairs, we met our cousins and they were frantically waving at us. Hahaha. I just got to know I have a mat-rep cousin! Well, one mat-rep cousin from each side of my parents. Izwan and Yusri. LOL.

Ended the day at 11+. A really different experience. Right now, I'm resting for a while. Just came back from Night Study. Thanks to Jessica for going to school with me and thanks to Asyraf for walking home with me. I can study at the Night Study thingy but only with music. =.="

Here's some pictures of Hari Raya 2009. Not complete as I'm still waiting for my AH-MAI to send me the pics. ;)

Did anyone missed me while I was gone?

Hahaha. Actually, I'm online almost everyday, just that I've cut down the time to a limit of 30 minutes per day. Good right? Thanks. Hahaha. I have just recently started on revision for O Levels. According to my calculation, I should finish up on my Physics topics by this weekend, IF I am able to refrain myself from sleeping during my study period at night. Speaking of studying at night, I will start going for the night study sessions next monday. This week has been a rather hectic week.

Had fun at Nanie's house with Nas, Zul and Aidil on Thursday. We were invited to eat at her house. Aidil is always there to crack us up with his lame jokes. Definitely one of the guys I'll miss after school ends. K, tak perlu kembang yeah. Soon after, Naim and Khairi joined us. BTW, taking the lift with Zuliana is bad bad bad idea. She kept jumping inside the lift when she clearly knew that I have a fear of taking lifts. Thanks ah.

My legs are all itchy thanks to the fire drill we had earlier. 2 mosquito bites. I'm too sweet, I guess. After school, stayed back in the library to study with Zul. Well, only I studied since her lazybones were active. I managed to get her to teach me Math though. ;)  Did Math and SS Source-based questions in the lib. But it started to get noisy in the lib with Ms Loke's Chem class. Ended the study session due to my loss of concentration.

My sister's boyfriend just left the house after raya visit. Hahaha. I'm guessing this relationship is a confirm case already? Hahaha. It's very difficult for my father to approve of a relationship and it always gets me laughing when I see how enthusiastic he was when he was told that he's coming. Reminds me of Hari Raya last year when it was their first meeting, my father prepared almost all the things needed and when they came, he sat at one corner and observe him. Scary. Definitely. But it's all working out now.

Okie dokie. Shall get back to my books now. ;)

I'm done living in my own world. It's time to take a step back and take a look at the real situation. Don't bother imagining cause it won't do me any good. It's time to let go of my fantasy and face the reality. I should forget it and do my very very best for the next weeks in preparations for O Levels. I hope that in the future, when I look back, I can laugh at myself without having the feeling of regret. It's hard to let go of this feeling that I have experienced for more than a year but it ain't going anywhere. I wish upon a well that this feeling will be our farewell.

Strange intro to this post huh? Well, it's my true feelings. Actually, I've been telling myself, "Wait longer, maybe something will happen" but to no avail. I hate how I knew nothing was going to happen but I kept believing in it, assuring myself to wait longer. But now, I'm done with this. It's like waiting for rain in the drought. Never ever going to happen. I don't know if it's too late or there's still time. All I hope is that I won't go back on my words. It takes two hands to clap and it's obvious that my hand is left hanging up in the air.

I think I'm going to flunk my Physics paper, like any other paper. Another bad news, my handphone is spoilt. No sound. I felt like smashing and breaking it apart. Damn it. I hope I can get it fix before Hari Raya on Sunday so that M-SQUARE can release another song. Hahaha. Okay AH-MAI? ;)

Right now, I'm wasting my time, lurking around the net. I have to wait until it's 2am then I'll eat Sahur. So excuse me for the nonsense written above. I have nothing to do so I scribbled everything. But hey... they're my true intention hor.